I hate – – HATE – – going to the grocery store. In fact, one of the New York luxuries I miss is a fantastic service called Peapod: you make and save a grocery list online that can be amended week to week to suit your shopping needs AND everything you order seemingly magically appears at your door later that day. Ahhhh. My kind of grocery shopping. I don’t know why I hate traditional grocery runs as much as I do. I know I don’t like germs, so touching the wagons (that’s what New Yorkers call “grocery carts” btw) is never a good time. I know I’m not a fan of running into people I know at the store either. Please don’t take this personally – it’s just that I’m a little socially awkward, and when you run into someone at the store – and you get through all the small talk – you inevitably have to then pass that same person 25 more times as you both work your way up and down the aisles. Oh – those precious “are you following me?” – chuckle chuckle – moments. And I truly despise the crowds that form around free samples. C’mon folks – eat BEFORE you shop. If you learn nothing else from my ramblings – learn THAT!
So – whatever the plethora of reasons, I hate going grocery shopping. Until…
Enter the Randall’s Monopoly Play & Win game. In case you’re not familiar, this game consists of a paper game board and stamp booklets. Certain items in the store earn you a stamp booklet, which contains 4 game pieces and another chunk of the booklet is either a coupon, an instant winner ticket, or a code you need to enter online. Sound complicated? It gets BETTER. There are a few items as you peruse the Randall’s aisles that offer a BONUS stamp booklet. That means, you buy item x – instead of getting one lonely booklet, you get two – doubling your chances of winning. Sign me up.
I was so excited when my first trip to Randall’s during the Monopoly promo period earned me a whopping 32 booklets. You know you’re exceptional when the cashier says, “Wow – that’s the most I’ve given out so far.” Who cares that half my wagon was filled with items no one really eats? They were BONUS TICKET items. You can’t beat those odds.
But then I had the arduous task of ripping the booklets open; adhering the stamps to the appropriate places on the game board; entering in an endless stream of codes online. And I sighed deeply as I thought to myself, “This is surely not worth the effort and the money I’m wasting on potentially unnecessary groceries.”
Just as I was preparing to toss my game board in the trash, I noticed I was only two stamps away from the GIANT $1,000,000 cash prize and only two stamps away from the slightly less awesome $500,000 vacation home. This was after one shopping trip. It became very clear to me that I was destined to win this game – and win BIG.
So – I am now making trips to Randall’s three/four times a week, filling my wagon with Monopoly bonus items. When I am at the checkout counter and the cashier hands me my embarrassing wad of stamp booklets, I make it a point to appear exasperated and say things like, “oh my – this is crazy! I don’t even play this game.” or “My kids will be so excited – they love playing this game.” Because a person with a real gambling problem never admits it, right?
Sadly, I’ve learned over the past weeks that I may not actually win anything – – not even the $5 Grocery Gift Card that I am only one stamp away from snagging. Most – and sometimes ALL – of my stamps are now duplicates of the ones I’ve already painstakingly affixed on my board – and I toss them away telling myself to end the insanity. But then I enter in my online codes and become an INSTANT WINNER of 12 more Monopoly stamp booklets – so, back to Randall’s I go.
On the up side – we have not run out of milk in weeks.