I don’t know when it happened exactly, but sometime after Isabella was born I was “gifted” with Spontaneous and quite Unnecessary Tears. If you’re also a mom, you must know what I’m talking about (or at least TELL me you do so I feel ever so slightly less crazy). This is the phenomenon in which you could be in the midst of a very ordinary, nothing special moment and without any warning, you feel that all too familiar stinging in your eyes – often coupled with an ookey feeling in your belly. And there you are, in the carpool line at pre-K pick up – crying.
That was me this afternoon. I was minding my own business – listening to my Billy Joel radio because I’ve got to get in all the listening time I can before it leaves me on March 15. [SIDE NOTE: On what planet is it ok for Tom Petty to have a radio station dedicated to his music every day forever, while Billy Joel gets limited edition runs? I mean – really.] So, all was grand in my minivan and then my little guy’s class came walking out of the building. I spotted Luca – with his unmade-bed-looking curly top and bright yellow minion backpack that’s bigger than he is – and there it was: the stream of Spontaneous Unnecessary Tears. I still don’t know exactly what sparked them – perhaps he looked like a big boy; perhaps just the opposite – he looked like my little baby; perhaps my subconscience was thinking about that looming evil baby killer we all know as full-day, everyday KINDERGARTEN. Maybe it was just too much cuteness to handle. I’m not sure. But – the SUTs came.
I like to think of myself as a *mostly* strong and together kind of mom, especially considering the amount of juggling going on up in Marino Manor. But these little SUT moments really highlight my emotional attachment to my babies that will never go away, and that truly grows stronger with each ordinary passing bit of time: every morning that I am without fail forced to smell someone’s breath and send him/her back upstairs to brush their teeth; every teenagery eye roll and heavy sigh; every kiss goodnight; every “I forgot my (insert appropriate item here);” every cuddle; every family movie night; every afternoon swim; every skinned knee; every heartache. Each little event or non-event – all making the connections stronger; tighter; and yet more delicate.
I joke with my kids on a fairly ongoing Beverly Goldberg basis that one day they’re all going to leave me, get married and move to Antarctica. Yes – Antarctica; because the first time it came out of my mouth it was the farthest away and most remote place I could think of. Obviously – they won’t really end up in Antarctica; and OBVIOUSLY, it is my dream that when they’ve all got families of their own we will all choose a place to live and buy out a whole block or two – Sister Wives style. But realistically I know that our time as one cohesive unit is more fleeting than I can handle.
So – what about the SUTs? Well, I think they serve a really important purpose – so embrace them! I believe those SUTs are there to remind us mommas, at the most random of times, to really take some time to breath and appreciate these regular nothing days. It’s like what Billy Joel was singing in my minivan:
This is the time to remember
Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
Cause we won’t
Although we’ll want to
Cue SUTs. Good night everyone – – I’m off to kiss and cuddle my babies!